A New Beginning

I have been wanting to post since the day I landed here in XLRI. But the anticipation of guilt at not spending as much time as possible in the real world had so far prevented me from doing so. So, am just going to put all my thoughts down here at once.

The whole "entering through the hallowed portals of XLRI" that has been much publicised on the net and elsewhere was not of much consequence in my case. Frankly, the signboard is so small that it left us wondering if we had entered through the right gate. I did the think the campus was beautiful, but realised that I have lost all ability to express my excitement about such things. Now this brings me to the second point. People. First Impressions. I noticed that the crowd here was much younger. Hence much more spirited. Some of the guys in the senior batch are 4 years younger. :o Secondly, I was very impressed by the fact that most of the boys and girls were extremely smart. Extremely accomplished and articulate group of people. Followed by the realisation that I would not get an opportunity to interact and be friends with most of them since I would automatically get inducted into the "uncool group".

In the next few days I experienced .. a slight disappointment after seeing my hostel room. Major joy at knowing that we would be sharing our mess with the guys (engrossing discussions over breakfast and evening snacks instantly came to the mind). Inevitable comparisons with my engineering college. "The rooms were huger!" "Shucks! No fridge in the hostel???!" "Our canteen food was world-class. Such variety." The hesitation in speaking to the smarter-looking people, and instead preferring to be with the "uncool group", a manifestation of an already present inferiority complex perhaps. A slight flutter in the heart at a smile from a cute guy on campus. Only to realise a while later, that he is in fact 2 years younger. :-( Chatting for hours on facebook with a certain batchmate and being able to manage only an uncomfortable "Hi!" on meeting him in person. Long periods of loneliness when the roomie leaves for a movie with her newly formed "group of friends". The dilemma of being with the studious (aka boring) group for the sake of projects and assignments or being with people who seem more fun. Major setbacks at not being invited to a booze party being held on the terrace of the men's residence and not having company to visit the night canteen on certain occasions. Worry about whether I will forever be stuck with 3 boring South-Indians with whom I have nothing in common. More worries and disappointments interspersed by spurts of excitement. But accompanies throughout by the "hope for a better future!" :D