Feels like crap!
Life sucks! You wanna know why, read on :
1) I haven't had a decent outing since October. That was when I hurt myself in the knee.
2) I am 22 and still without a boyfriend. What's worse is there hardly seems to be a possibility of being with anyone in the near future. Not that I'm desperate or anything, but everybody needs to feel cared for sometimes. Besides, everybody has one nowadays. Why not me?
3) Sometimes I feel shitty at 3 a.m. and I have no one to call and talk to about it. I feel so helpless at such times. Its not that I dont have friends. But they're all too busy with their own lives. And since we're all working in different cities and since we dont get to meet as often, the closeness that we had in college seems to have disappeared. And yes, I am still cribbing about being single.
4) This is in continuation with the previous 2 points. (I didn't want to sound like I'm very upset about the boyfriend thing, hence had to split it up... LOL). When I think about it, I knew a lot of mean and nasty girls in college - the kinds who always try to put people down by their words. They're a disgrace to the society I feel. Anyways, so what I was saying is that all these mean, nasty people are in perfect happy relationships. And if you're thinking that that's probably because they are better looking, then you're wrong. I hate to say this, but some of them were outright ugly. And although I may not be the perfect person, I try to be nice to people and dont harm others or even bore others unnecessarily. Then why do I deserve to be alone.
5) I was this epitome of academic brilliance throughout my schooling years. But somewhere down the line something didn't quite work out right. So I ended up studying in a not-so-famous engineering college and came out of college hating the subject that I graduated in. So basically, now I'm an electronics engineer who has all her basics screwed up.
6) And since I was so busy trying to get myself to like the subject, I kept myself away from extra-curriculars like debating and quizzing which I might have probably done well in had i tried. So, nothing phenomenal there too.
7) April is almost here and I still haven't started thinking about CAT 2008, leave alone preparing for it. And the sad part is I have lost all faith in myself. Even if I do manage to crack CAT by some sheer stroke of luck, am almost sure I'll screw up in the interview. I always do.
8) And will somebody please tell me what the matter is with all these girls. If a guy likes any other girl in this world, he is in luuv! And the moment a nice guy likes me, he becomes 'desperate'? Pray, why? This is so unfair!
9) I've tried being brave about my singlehood more than once. Have gone around telling people that I dont need a guy to complete my life and am completely content in my life and all that shit! My cousin teases me saying I'll be this lonely spinster in a big house when I grow old. And although I laugh when she says it, deep down I worry about it too. What if I have don't have anyone to take care of me when I'm old?
10) I've been in a mostly vegetative state since the surgery 4 months back and things aren't changing as fast as I want them to. I'm trying hard to recover, pursuing physiotherapy aggresively, but its not helping my condition much. The doc says it'll take another 3 months for me to get back to normal. Why me? God! Why me?
1) I haven't had a decent outing since October. That was when I hurt myself in the knee.
2) I am 22 and still without a boyfriend. What's worse is there hardly seems to be a possibility of being with anyone in the near future. Not that I'm desperate or anything, but everybody needs to feel cared for sometimes. Besides, everybody has one nowadays. Why not me?
3) Sometimes I feel shitty at 3 a.m. and I have no one to call and talk to about it. I feel so helpless at such times. Its not that I dont have friends. But they're all too busy with their own lives. And since we're all working in different cities and since we dont get to meet as often, the closeness that we had in college seems to have disappeared. And yes, I am still cribbing about being single.
4) This is in continuation with the previous 2 points. (I didn't want to sound like I'm very upset about the boyfriend thing, hence had to split it up... LOL). When I think about it, I knew a lot of mean and nasty girls in college - the kinds who always try to put people down by their words. They're a disgrace to the society I feel. Anyways, so what I was saying is that all these mean, nasty people are in perfect happy relationships. And if you're thinking that that's probably because they are better looking, then you're wrong. I hate to say this, but some of them were outright ugly. And although I may not be the perfect person, I try to be nice to people and dont harm others or even bore others unnecessarily. Then why do I deserve to be alone.
5) I was this epitome of academic brilliance throughout my schooling years. But somewhere down the line something didn't quite work out right. So I ended up studying in a not-so-famous engineering college and came out of college hating the subject that I graduated in. So basically, now I'm an electronics engineer who has all her basics screwed up.
6) And since I was so busy trying to get myself to like the subject, I kept myself away from extra-curriculars like debating and quizzing which I might have probably done well in had i tried. So, nothing phenomenal there too.
7) April is almost here and I still haven't started thinking about CAT 2008, leave alone preparing for it. And the sad part is I have lost all faith in myself. Even if I do manage to crack CAT by some sheer stroke of luck, am almost sure I'll screw up in the interview. I always do.
8) And will somebody please tell me what the matter is with all these girls. If a guy likes any other girl in this world, he is in luuv! And the moment a nice guy likes me, he becomes 'desperate'? Pray, why? This is so unfair!
9) I've tried being brave about my singlehood more than once. Have gone around telling people that I dont need a guy to complete my life and am completely content in my life and all that shit! My cousin teases me saying I'll be this lonely spinster in a big house when I grow old. And although I laugh when she says it, deep down I worry about it too. What if I have don't have anyone to take care of me when I'm old?
10) I've been in a mostly vegetative state since the surgery 4 months back and things aren't changing as fast as I want them to. I'm trying hard to recover, pursuing physiotherapy aggresively, but its not helping my condition much. The doc says it'll take another 3 months for me to get back to normal. Why me? God! Why me?
posted by moody_mermaid | 1:41 AM
7 Comments:
i m kinda lost n occupied at work , but U shall get ur share of comments pretty soon.
dude....whoaaa...'u' are 'me' man!! its like i have found a soul twin or something!!i mean every bit of whatever u have written in this post of urs is something that i can relate to. except that i quit science aftr 12th coz i knew i coudnt handle it and i had a boyfrien who denies that we were ever anything more than friends and insists that i m his 'bachpan ki bahut acchi sakhi!!'
and chill....i know, i know, this coming out of a cynical twit like me sounds very..ahem...unnatural...but things may get bettr...though i cant assure u they will...but anyhow, ull get used to it and if 'the good period' starts then life will look rosy!!
be in touch!!
and just for the record...u live in delhi??
and well the bit abt those nasty grils in college who though are very ugly yet think the world of themselves and their abilities..i went through the same hell during my first two years of college too...i ean i was a simple girl for whom niceness was sort of a habit(whihc used to make people feel that i m an outright moron, whihc is still the case by the way) but those bitches just screwed my happiness and my already low self esteem really bad. its only after two years of gettign rid of them, changing cities and going thruogh even more hell that the past does not seem so bad after all!
see...i told you...you ARE my soul cousin ...only ur a virgo and i m a gemini...anyway..take care!!
peace*
2 musty muser:
her profile says noida, mine doesn bu t both of us put up in noida.
hmmm.... pretty aggressive.
somehow stumbled upon your blog..
"being nice to people" is still one of the most sought after qualities.. be optimistic and believe in destiny... :D
where are you
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